What Noah REALLY Wants for Christmas

Cheese and bananas for every meal.
To never wear clothing again (especially socks!).
Three baths every day with lots of cups to drink the bath water with.
His very own working cell phone. Old dead phones don't cut it.
Unlimited cardboard, tissues, toilet paper, and newspaper to rip and eat.
To crawl inside the dishwasher after throwing all the silverware, knives, and plates on the floor.
A full tube of toothpaste to eat, but never to have his teeth brushed again.
Daddy to stay home from work every day.
To crawl on top of the piano.
An endless parade of people walking past our house to watch out the window.
No more cabinet and drawer locks.
Books to chew and eat.
To never have his face washed again.
Merlin's litter pan scoop to lick and play with.
Brand new mittens (knit by Mom, of course!) to rip to shreds with his teeth.